Erm... i can't really say the ps3 is screwed. since you CAN update (meaning PS3 works (ultimately means that it's ok to some exent)). You might wanna provide some more details about what you did (out of the ordinary).
It's just a random guess and is probably wrong but random red screen + shutdown = overheated CPU... although it should shutdown before that, it's the only explanation i see.
PS: Spare us the drama.... red screen of death, black joypad of death and a god damn working TV of death.... god, you have to add dead to every single malfunction there is....
Different people taking different actions with E3 Flasher and yet they end up in the same position: Satisfied finally getting a replacement for a bricked PS3.