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I had a similar problem myself with a phat CECHJ PS3 where I could only eject the disk via the triangle button on the XMB. I cleaned the ribbon cable ends for the blu ray drive with a cotton bud and isopropyl alcohol. I did the main cable from the logic board to the PS3's motherboard, as well as the one for the loading sensor and motor. Also removed the 4pin power cable from the side of the blu ray drive and reseated it. It started working properly after that.
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