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All of the above
Death - I am beyond death, I'm immortal
Alien invasion and they have captured you: they released me then when I started talking about videogames
Being eaten alive by zombies currently: They tried, but my flesh tastes bad and at the first bite they went into psychedelic ecstasy because of the drugs that I've used in the past
Meteor landed on you in your sleep: I used a genki dama and sent the meteor back to space
Being Raptured by Jesus Christ currently: He tried, but I began to discuss religion and he dropped me back on earth telling me to shut up
So, I think I'm immune to the apocalypse
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